The Truth in the Proposal
by Boneslove1021
Summary: What is the real reason Booth proposed to Hannah? Was it love or was it something else?


The Truth in the Proposal

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones or any of the characters.

What is the real reason Booth proposed to Hannah? Was it love or was it something else?

He's standing on the bridge overlooking the water. He pulls the box from his pocket and opens it to view the most expensive item he's ever purchased. He had looked at it often since the jewelry store. He had told Sweets that he'd been planning this for some time now. But that wasn't the truth. The truth was, he panicked when Sweets reminded him that he was almost 40 and had never been married. That panic was the reason he was on this bridge with a ring in his hand.

If he were honest with himself, he'd admit that he's had doubts since Bones confessed her regrets to him. He couldn't seem to get her out of his mind. He remembers clearly the pain in her eyes in his car that night and it hurts him still that he is the cause of it.

Sure, they had worked a few cases since and she seems to have adjusted well, like he had done almost one year ago. Wow, had it really almost been a year? So much had changed in that time. Sometimes he struggles to remember what they were like before they each left for different parts of the world. But he remembers clearly how he felt. He knew still that he was "that guy", the one who would love for 30, 40 or 50 years or more. He also knew that the 30, 40, 50 year love he felt wasn't for the woman was calling out to him now.

He turns as she approaches. Yes she's beautiful, fun, sexy and intelligent. But she isn't the most beautiful, sexiest and most brilliant woman he knows. Her hair is too long and way too light. Her eyes, while pretty, are not the most beautiful and expressive blue that he's ever seen. In truth, when compared to the standard she just doesn't measure up but then again when compared to the standard no one does.

He knows instantly what he's going to do. He hadn't told Sweets that Hannah wasn't the marrying kind. No, they'd never really talked about marriage but he knew she liked her freedom too much to settle down in one place for very long. The fact that she had followed him to DC was still a shock. He remembers her panicked "Oh God, you're going to propose aren't you" reaction when he cooked dinner and bought them new toothbrushes. He just hopes that he read her actions and reactions correctly over their time together.

So with his heart racing he asks her to marry him. Of course there's that frightened look in her eyes again. She tells him that she loves him but she's not the marrying kind. Just the answer he was expecting.

"_What happens now?"_ she asks.

"_What do you think happens now?"_

He can see the tears in her eyes and he hates himself for causing her pain but he knows this is the way things have to be. He can't pretend any longer.

He doesn't look as she walks away. He stands there staring at the ring box in his hand. With a grunt of disgust he throws it in the water.

As he watches it sink he's surprised to feel the emptiness in his chest. Yes, she responded just as he thought, he hoped, she would. But it never feels good to get rejected; even if it's truly what you wanted.

When he walks into the Founding Fathers his mind is plagued with the question that Hannah had asked, "What happens now?" He decides to drink, hoping maybe the answer will come to him. He knows what he wants most to happen now is to go to Bones and tell her that she didn't miss her chance. That she didn't let him get away. That just as he promised her a couple of weeks ago he isn't going anywhere. But he knows it's too soon for that. They aren't ready. He has to rebuild the trust and the friendship that was lost during their time away, during his time with Hannah.

He knows he has behaved badly toward his partner and his friends. So he drinks. He thinks of all the times he had gotten short with her, or rolled his eyes at something she said. He thinks about the moment in the SUV when he told her he loved Hannah and she wasn't a consolation prize. He thinks about all of these times that he hurt Bones and then he drinks some more.

When she sits on the stool next to him, he isn't surprised to see her there. He knew she and Hannah were friends. Somehow he knew Hannah would call her.

"_You drunk?"_

"_Relatively…. relatively I'm drunk. Meaning I'm drunker than usual but no I am not a drunk."_

"_You sound….something….Hannah called me."_

"_Just….I really….I don't want to talk about that….OK, I'm just…. I'm over it….I'm over it….I'm done, OK?"_

She can tell he's angry but she asks, _"So, what happens next?"_

There's that question again. He knows she assumes he's upset that Hannah rejected him and he doesn't correct her erroneous assumption.

"_What happens next…..what….y….you like evidence right Bones? Well here's the evidence….the evidence is that there is something wrong here….I uh….I fell in love with a woman….I had a kid, she doesn't want to marry me….well uh, and then the next woman well she's ….."_

"_Me"_

Just as he knew she wouldn't, she doesn't pick up on the fact that he doesn't mention Hannah at all in his little tirade.

"_Yeah….and now…. I mean what is it with women….who just don't want what I'm offering here."_

"_Booth.…"_

He doesn't want to get into a discussion about how she feels for him or him for her. It's too soon. He hasn't decided how he's going to fix things yet so he cuts her off.

"_No just…. You know what….drink.…drink, I just….really….just mad….I'm just really mad at all of you _(but mostly at myself he thinks)_….I'm just mad, ok so you want to know how this is gonna work…..ok this is how this is gonna work…..me and you….are partners, that's what we do….we're partners alright and I love that _(I love you flows into his mind but he doesn't say it)_, I think that's great….and uh….we're good people who catch bad people….right?...yeah and….and we argue and we go back and forth….we're partners and sometimes after we solve a case we come here and we celebrate _(he thinks of the times he missed that to be with Hannah)_….that's what we do….we celebrate…..so as far as I can see that is what happens next_ (let's celebrate the fact that I will soon be able to love you like I've wanted to for the past 6 almost 7 years) _….are you ok with that?….great because you know ….if you are….I tell you what….you stay here and you have a drink with me…or maybe….uh….we have a little small talk, chitchat….and if you're not….well….you can leave….there's the door…. and tomorrow I'll find you a new FBI guy_ (because he knows he can't only be "partners" any more)_….."_

"_Those are my only choices?"_

"_Yep those are your only choices."_He holds his breath, waiting, praying that she'll stay. He may not be ready to discuss their feelings but he wants, needs her by his side.

"_Then I'll drink."_

As they both raise their hand for another shot he can't help but feel his body flood with relief. He will work hard to put things back on track. They will put the center back together and this time it will hold.

The end.


End file.
